Answers To...Nothing?

Our resident Michigan blogger was able to pull himself away from outlet shopping long enough to grace us with a brief response. Perhaps he was in good spirits after snagging a good deal on a maize and blue Coach purse. Here's what I learned:

In the months of May and June, Mr. Bill likes to watch the NBA and the NHL. This is interesting but rather irrelevant, since the focus of this blog is the Ohio State-Michigan rivalry. Given that Michigan hasn't won a single football or basketball game in three years, perhaps he's just conceding and moving on.

Besides the non-sequitur, is anyone still watching these other sports? The NBA lost whatever minimal credibility they had with the ridiculous suspensions in the Suns-Spurs series. So maybe San Antonio or Detroit will proclaim themselves the dominant team in an era when a sport basically died. Big deal. And hockey? More people watch the world's strongest man competition than this. If you don't live in Canada or some godforsaken northern state, this barely even qualifies as a sporting event. So my apologies, I can't tell you how the Columbus Blue Jackets are doing. The standings and playoff results were buring in the fine print of the paper beneath the local high school cross country news.

As for Lebron and the Cavs, I'm pretty sure they're in the conference finals, against the Pistons, having the exact same playoff record thus far as the Pistons. That sound about right? Apologies to our extensive readership for having to waste their time on this non-topical nonsense.

"Ohio is sending so many recuits Michigan's way..."

All two of them. Neither offered by Ohio State. Must be a very proud day for Michigan when they can grab our leftovers. Remember than if you ever try to argue that Michigan has more talent that Ohio. Not that it matters, since most talented Michigan folks go elsewhere. How you doing, Ronald Johnson? Oops, my bad. Can't forget the army of Carl Tabb clones coming to get us.

It's great for Michigan to get kids like Mealer, solid three-star players, who grew up with Buckeye stuff lining their walls. The ideal profile for a future Wolverine. If you think some sense of revenge is going to motivate them to become All Big Ten players, think again. You need great strength and conditioning and superior coaching to make that happen. Anyone want to bet whether LLLLLoyd can pull that off? You know, assuming he sticks around.

"...the more they protest the more worried they are."

I'll be honest with everyone, I've barely been able to sleep for the last few weeks. When I think about the future, it's like Sarah Connor in Terminator imagining the post-apocalyptic world. With just All-American candidates like Mike Adams, Mike Brewster and J.B. "#1 on the Michigan Big Board" Shugarts, Ohio State is in deep trouble. Could we possibly recruit a defensive end that could beat the likes of Mealer and O'Neill? Where are you, Reggie White? And Brandon Moore? He can't be defended. This is Ozzie Newsome, Kellen Winslow, Tony Gonzalez and Antonio Gates wrapped into one package with the speed of the Flash and the body of Godzilla. In the end, these were were Plan B players that never received offers from The Ohio State University. That's no knock on either kid, but it's not a huge coup for Michigan.

"Notice how Michigan fans don't need to break down every OSU recruit in a negative way."

I suppose it is tough to tear down Ohio State's recruits, since Michigan offered most of them. Or maybe they don't have time, because these folks are concentrating on hockey. I get it now. We only discuss Mealer and Moore because Ohio actually takes pride in players from its own state. And I'm not negative about all of Michigan's recruits. At least not the ones that Ohio State wants to take.

But Mr. Bill is being a tad disingenuous. Ask him to be honest...have Michigan fans been fretting about their recruiting? Have they worried about the number and quality of commits headed to Ohio State and Notre Dame? Are they biting their nails about whether Michigan can win heaad-to-head recruiting battles with these rivals? I think so.

One great thing about Michigan is they all drink the same blue flavored Kool-Aid. Instead of sugar it comes with two cups full of spin. The reporters and sources have to work overtime to make up excuses about why Michigan loses top notch recruits, why their lower ranked players are actually great "system" players who "fill a need" who are somehow better than the blue chippers they lost to competitors.

"If we do our thing than whatever OSU/PSU/MSU/etc. may or may not do doesn't matter. Its only when we slip up or lose interest that the others Big 10 schools "achieve" anything."

2001: Slip.
2002: Slip.

2004: Big slip by the favorite.

2005: Slip at home.

2006: Undeafeated season ruined by slip.

Thad Matta told me he'd get back to me about the basketball slips. He said I might not have room in this column to cover them.

Here's what I love about Michigan. They trash Notre Dame for being a high and mighty bunch that live off the past. But Michigan is no different - take a look at the arguments they make about why their school and program are better. The hypocrisy is rich. They haven't won a whole national championship from the dominant polling source since the Truman administration.

Glory Days, they'll pass you by Glory Days. In the wink of a young girls eye...